The Winter Standstill

The perfect time for contemplation at this time of standstill between the seasons. It's winters pause, we're still snowed in and we need to get supplies in before the weekend so the 4 mile hike to town looks like an increasing possibility. Even though this is a nuisance I still appreciate the quietness of the countryside and enjoy the space away from the hustle and bustle of the town.

A Blessed Solstice to all.

Aspects of the Moon

Well there's no further excuse for it, all this time lolling around inside and with the temp still at freezing point, there's work to be done. Daughter is due back from uni on Friday and weather permitting we will be the fab four again. The time's passed quickly. I need to get this house straight before the festive season. The tree has arrived and is decorated, only a real one will do and this year again we have Nordman Pine, the scent is amazing and I feel that I am honouring the traditions of the ancestors by bringing the greenery into the house.

My altar is also green and set up for the winter solstice on the 21st. It will also be a visible total eclipse of the moon during the morning, I'm hoping that the moon will be visible and that the promised hues of orange, red, turqoise or grey are easily seen. I still carry the moon card of the druidcraft tarot and I'm hoping to perform the initiation ceremony into the Ovate grade on this day . The only problem is where and when. The Gwersi reccommend using the darkness as part of the ritual which means early morning or evening, also I'd like to do the ritual outside. It will be cold but I will have guaranteed peace and space that is required as I don't know how long this will take and I have to go out later that evening.

This is something that I will have ponder on...maybe there will be a sign.

More snow ahead

We're walking in a winter wonderland, or so the song goes. On Sunday I did venture out for a short stroll over the fields. It turned into a four mile walk on a fresh sunny day. Lovely to come home to beef stew from the aga. However, services are being affected by the snowfall and living so far out does have some disadvantages. The situation so far:

Temperature: minus 8

carbon footprint: drastically increasing

Last human sighting: Thursday...starting to go stir crazy

Family situation: irritable...but mainly because school is open and we can get there

Cooking: stew being served on a daily basis but curry powder arriving tonight

All that and I have to put up with ridicule about my cold weather fashion sense, i.e layers of clothing and a camouflage hat with ear flaps that makes me look like Trapper John. Do I care? No, because at least I'm warm.

Aah...it's snowing

Well this is most unexpected. Snow before the festive season. It's certainly making me feel more in the mood for it. Yule that is, last year we had a large downpour just after Xmas and were snowed in for a few days having to walk to the nearest shop for supplies. Not that we minded as we all had great fun in the snow, sledging down the mountains. The neighbouring village even set up ramps for the keen snowboarders. We made hot soups and stews that went on for days.

The suns out too so I'll take a walk later on. It's a lovely crispy day. The birds are enjoying the feeder and there's red kite up above looking for carrion. I'm feeling the presence of Yuletide approaching. That still moment at the winter solstice when time seems to stand still, the cold icy wind, the changeover in light time and the seasons. The time where the Goddess lies deep within the dormant earth sleeping. This is the Caillaechs time, she rules the barren land with her rod of power until Imbolc, when hope and life is reborn to the land.

Right now I feel like hibernating with the Goddess, it's very cold here! Time to light the fire perhaps.

Roots

I'm certainly more in a spiritual mindset at the moment, I feel I need to attend to this by getting out onto the Land, doing a bit of walking, visiting some sacred sites and perhaps a bit of dowsing along the path. This is something that I haven't done for sometime. But the weather both here and throughout the UK has been very stormy with winds of up to 60 mph in places. You can hardly get out of the front door never mind visiting any stone circles!

This weekend my daughter is back from uni. Its great to be a family once more. I think this is a great way for us to reconnect, its another way to celebrate Earth too. The family being the heart of all things to me. We've spent some time catching up and I can't get over how mature she has become. She's done a grand job of looking after herself. I'm very proud of her indeed.

Earth and The Wren

Time has passed and yet I still see the changes around and within me. Drawing the pentacles cards seems to be showing me that there is some connection to work and materialism. I found the three of pentacles on a chair only today. Yes things are changing. I very rarely need to work in the north. Perhaps I should do so more often. I find that I'm drawn to fire and water elements. So I've decided to honour Earth through ritual and general awareness.

Also, regards the path of the Moon card. At first I thought that this was due to changing from the bardic course to the otherworldly ovate course. This is true of course but it seems to be related to a work issue. I feel the need to pursue a career path or study in some way. This week one door seemed to close at work, I thought that I would gain a permanent position there. This is not the case and I see the opportunity to move forward in a different direction, although the details seem to elude me as yet. Perhaps things will be clearer in time. I think that I need to work on this direction.

I'm still on the creative writing course. It's giving me great pleasure and my head is buzzing full of creativity and artistry so I'm still honouring the bard within. I'm sure some projects and friendships will be forged, this seems like the right path to take.

And also, I've had various encounters with the wren of late. I take this to mean that self realisation lies in humility, gentleness and subtlety. Small is beautiful and its those little changes that I should acknowledge and work with. One step at a time, gradually along the path. So now the wren joins the dog and wolf as my new totem animals for this part of lifes journey.

Onwards and upwards, then

The Moon

I don't usually draw a tarot spread but last Sunday, I felt inclined to do so. It's a rare occurrence as I prefer to work with other methods of divination. I use the Druidcraft tarot by Phillip Carr Gomm as the illustrations are beautiful and resonate with my thinking and path.

I prefer not to ask any questions but to draw intuitively, especially at Samhain, when the veils are thin and I feel more open and receptive to the otherworld. After such an eventful and rushed day, I found it difficult to get into the right frame of mind for ritual. There was a lot of activity in the house, of the terrestial sort, but eventually things calmed down and I drew The Moon as my central card, followed by the Two of Pentacles and the Four of Pentacles, reversed.

Taking The Moon to be my main card, it depicts a gateway (of fear) with guardians (of the threshold) a wolf and a dog, baying at a waxing crescent moon. I won't go into a deep analysis here, but suffice to say that this represents a difficult path through life, a path that needs to be walked through the threshold to enter further into the Mysteries. There is a connection to psychic awakening, dreams, imagination and revelation. The two pentacle cards relate to balance, trust, letting go and materialism. So quite a lot to be going on with altogether.

Instead of delving in too deeply, I like to leave things awhile, just see what happens. I've no clues from the dreams, however there has been a repeated theme of dogs, wolves and foxes. I found some fox droppings in the garden earlier on today. Could these be my new allies?

I feel that I'm about to embark on something new. I've completed the Bardic grade and am now between the worlds, taking some time out for contemplation before starting the Ovate course. This will certainly include Mystery work and although I had done some of this type of thing before I think it's time to pick up the wand again so to speak. I need to touch base firmly again. I've had a break from it, life happenings etc So I guess the lesson to be learned is to continue along the path with courage, with allies for support along what is, for many of us a difficult route. There will be challenges along the way but hopefully I will emerge all the richer for the experience.

Samhain - Part One

Now here's the thing, you expect life to go one way and whoops! Goddess has other plans. It all started off last Saturday when I was reminded of a fly comment that I had made earlier on in the autumn. Yes I promised a trip to a rollercoaster park for my sins. It was half term holiday and the teenage son being bored witless, I was soon reminded and held to task over my earlier comment.

Yes we would go, yes he could take a friend, yes they could stay up late-ish watching horror films and the like. So any way off we all set, fairly early considering that the clocks had moved an hour, down to Pembrokeshire for the day yesterday. It was Samhain and I soon dismissed any thoughts of Pagan activities as I realised that we would be back late and we'd be fairly tired by then.

The park itself was lovely and I enjoyed walking around the grounds and admiring the large and ancient oak trees there. At one point a flock of birds, probably geese, flew west in a 'v' formation. There was definitely a feeling of the thinning of the veils between the worlds. In a way I spun my own circles as I was coaxed onto the rollercoaster, although I was moving rapidly with my eyes shut, clinging onto hubby. I'm a bit of a woos when it comes to these things. Still I did a lot better than the previous time, when I screamed so much that I inhaled a fly on my way around. We left the park at about four, the new dusk time and then realised that we had lost the keys of the car! But panic over, they were soon retrieved and we got home in a reasonable time. Tired but exhilerated by the activity.

It was still early enough to do something for Samhain so I set aside some time for myself in the evening. I still feel that there is a lot of Samhain energy around, it's more of a process than an event so I will write some more about Samhain later on this week when things have consolidated and are clearer.

Honouring Sulis

Yesterday, I travelled down to Bath to meet up with my daughter. It was great catching up with her, I realised how she has matured into a fine, well developed young woman in such a short space of time. It doesn't seem so long ago that I was changing her nappies and watching her first steps. That time has now passed and yesterday we all spent the day together as sightseers around the ancient city.

I've always wanted to visit the ancient Roman baths there, which were dedicated to the celtic goddess, Sulis and later became Romanised into the goddess, Minerva. I'd heard so many accounts about it that I was determined to go. It's a great place to visit as there seems to be something there for everyone. Very little is known about Sulis, but I felt that I truly experienced Her presence whilst walking around the ancient baths and the warm waters of the bubbling spring, Her Source. I left an offering in the cold pool and later drank the warm, chalky healing waters at the pump house. It was wonderful to think that I had been walking the same steps as the pilgrims of old, leaving offerings and taking the waters. I bought a little golden owl and a small effigy of Minerva to hang on the Yule tree.

But first my thoughts turn to Samhain on Sunday. I've yet to prepare my altar for my ritual so later I will be carving the pumpkin and dressing the table ready. Weather permitting I will be outside around the bonfire at some point so I have all that to consider too. Warm soup will be on the menu along with mulled wine. Hopefully I will have a blessed and peaceful Samhain.

Approaching Samhain

There I've done it. My final piece of work for the OBOD course is complete. It's taken me three years in all. I just need to tart it up a bit and then it's all systems go for the next stage in this exciting adventure. I hope that everything will be complete in time for Samhain. A new year, a new start as they say.

Industrious Autumn

It seems such a long time since I was here last but, I've really been that busy. Never would have thought it a few months ago. Hey ho! I've been writing a lot, Firstly I've started an autobiographical writing course, which sounded a bit daunting at first but it's not so bad. Each piece of your life is divided into chunks so its rather like embroidering and creating a patchwork quilt. Stitching your own life together in manageable squares. I'm rather enjoying the cathartic experience and it will be something for my own children to read when the time is right. And who knows, I may put some of it here on this blog.

Also I decided that the time is right to complete my Bardic studies part of the OBOD course. This means more writing, quite a bit actually. Revisiting those experiences, thoughts and feelings that had happened wasn't easy at first but with practise everything started to flow and now I am waiting to hear from my personal tutor.

Drifting through the seasons

I think that I coped very well. Daughter settling in nicely at uni since Saturday. No tearful, dramatic goodbyes. I'm delighted for her, it's a wonderful opportunity to grow. And the sun shone, well it's been shining ever since. It's the perfect autumn. The trees now shedding golden leaves and a slight chill in the air, we're heading for Samhain and darker evenings. I love it.

And what about me? well, I'm on a path to self discovery. It's nothing new but it's something that I can fully embrace now that I have a little more time on my hands. I've enrolled on an autobiographical writing course at the local college. This is something that I started last year, it's a chance to discover my creative side. Something that I feel that I've neglected over the years what with having children and work I was usually just too knackered to have any chance to indulge or even dabble. I think that it will be a good thing. Cathartic , if nothing else.

And then there's my spiritual side. Something else that is need of attention. It's a part of me...a big part. No doubt about that. But as I'm feeling better I feel that now is a good time to touch base. I'm ready for it and with all this writing the Awen is starting to flow once more.

Mabon

The turning of the wheel

Yes there's definately a seasonal change. The signs are everywhere in nature and even though we have had some sunshine lately, theres that Autumnal nip in the air that I find so comforting and reassuring. Its a good time of year for me. I like September. I love to go for long walks in the countryside and feel the crunch of brown crispy leaves below my feet, the swallows preparing to fly and the sight of my breath in the air. Well that's not if its peeing down with rain!

I feel its time to start something new. Not only will it fill in my time once my own fledgling has taken flight but it seems so long that I learnt or did something new for myself. Spending so much time at home is lovely but with the winter drawing near and dark nights ahead it looks like a daunting prospect. I need something to get me out of this house. And with Samhain coming closer too I have realised that I have neglected my spiritual practise as well. Ill health put pay to all that but I feel that the time is now right. I feel well enough and gradually I'd like to start integrating spirituality into my life again, not that it ever went totally, it never does... it's just that I became overwhelmed with other things for a while.

as one door closes

...another one opens. It's coming up to that transitional time of the year again, September, Autumn, Equinox. It's a time of balance between the seasons and life in general. With daughter off to college things looked gloomy for a long while...a sense of a loss. Losing the child that was and gaining an adult, a fully rounded independent being. So perhaps I did my job as a parent ok. I could even afford myself a little pat on the back, not that I did it all on my own. But not a bad job even if I say so myself.

And what will I do now that one fledgling has flown the nest. It's a time for great opportunity to see where life takes me, both in the physical and the spiritual sense. It's time for me to open my eyes and see clearly all that is around me.

Hwre!

Well it came at last, the sun that is and phew what a scorcher or so the headlines would say. It really does feel like Lughnasadh now. Beautiful clear blue skies and the sun belting down makes all the difference and makes everything seem possible.

Today I head for the ancient capital of Wales, Machynlleth.There's a wonderful little market there on Wednesdays and a great vibe in the little town. It's a place where old and young meet and share.There's the Centre for Alternative Technology nearby so theres lots of green and ecofriendly stuff about. I hope to do a bit of shopping, get my hair cut and catchup with friends and family.

Summertime fun with veg

Just as a distraction and I certainly need one, here's a favourite recipe to lift the spirits and the greyness...

Needed-

3tbsp olive oil
9oz halloumi sliced
2 medium onions, wedged
3 courgettes sliced
8 tomatoes halved
420g can butter beans drained

Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a roasting tin, bung in some halloumi slices and fry until golden brown on both sides. remove and quarter them.add onions to the tin for 5 minutes and fry until golden

Toss in the courgettes and fry until golden.remove onions and courgettes from the tin and set aside.heat remaining oil in the tin and fry tomatoes until soft and juicy.

Return everything to the tin with the beans, just chuck it all in. warm it through, stirring it all together as you go and trying not to look out of the window at the weather.

Bask in the warm glow and self satisfaction at making a wonderful meal for the family and admire your sun kissed veg without whingeing

Summertime Blues

OK enough is enough.I've said it once and I'll say it again. Just where is the sun? Not a good scene here, three weeks into the holidays and no sign of anything remotely scorchio only thick grey cloud, drizzle and the occasional sighting of something bright. I'm fed up of cloudbathing and expensive trips to the cinema to amuse and entertain. It's a total bummer! but then again its nothing new.

Time to rethink the strategy for coping with the next three weeks before we all go stir crazy.

Normal service will be resumed after this brief, self indulgent rant!

Walking at Lughnasadh

With the weather being as it is, dull, grey and cloudy etc, it was difficult to know how to mark Lughnasadh. No, it didn't seem right to go for a high magic, big ceremonial approach . It just didn't seem right. This year a simpler, quieter and more gentle approach was required. Three of us returned to Cantre'r Gwaelod.

Instead of driving to the beach where the submerged forest can be seen at a very low spring tide, we decided instead to take the inland public footpath. Now when I say public, this footpath has been fought over as a public right of way. In the past landowners have tried to keep the path out of reach from the walkers, ramblers and tourists that walk along the coast and to this special place with a hidden beach. The path has been overgrown to jungle proportions and the occasional ferocious sheepdog let out to challenge and thwart the hardiest walker. These days things are different. 1-0 to the ramblers! The way is now clear after much campaigning and hard work.

After a pleasant if not muddy trudge to Wallog beach we were pleasantly rewarded with an almost deserted beach. Windswept and beautiful, the glacial morainne visible and forming the legendary road to Cantre'r Gwaelod-Sarn Cynfelin. No need for a ritual, it seemed right to walk along the length of the beach in quiet contemplation with only our thoughts and the swooping gulls for company. Well, not quite, we were rewarded with a gift. Just above the gulls nest a pair of peregrine falcons hovered on the wind. It was quite remarkable. I felt part of the landscape, it was like coming home.

This beach holds many cherished childhood memories for me. Its isolation and sacred landscape unspoilt by man and civilisation. A place to simply just be, and this seemed fitting at Lughnasadh.

Towards Lammas

It's difficult to even contemplate Lammas without sunshine. We've had a long spell of showers accompanied by thick grey clouds in every shade of grey. The sun occasionally peeps through the grey carpet and I rush frantically to sit in the sun chair with a coffee, trying to capture a few precious rays. It doesn't last for long and I end up sitting in the dullness with a cold coffee.

Last week there was a short bright spell and I took the children to the local beach to make the most of it. Now this is a special beach. There's miles ofl fat sand and plenty of dunes to explore, in fact it's a wildlife sanctuary and at the moment home to nesting ringed plover.

This is the place known in Welsh mythology as Cantre'r Gwaelod (one hundred beneath). An ancient land sunken beneath the waves where there lay many villages and forests. It's part of the story of Cerridwen and Gwion. Some say that the floods occurred when Cerridwens cauldron cracked and spilt over, others say that the surrounding walls fell down when a drunken guard failed to secure the gates. Who knows? It certainly is a special place and I'll be heading back there for Lammas with the children for my personal celebration. Hope the sun comes out.

More rain

And yes there's more! Even though the sun is trying to peep out it would seem that the rain is not far away. Will it stay for the whole school summer holidays? I wonder. The thought of an incarceration in the house for six weeks is not a promising thought but at least it is warm and there are a few dry sunny spells, well, just a few.

The garden is bursting with ripefulness, even the sunflower has a few small new leaves so there is hope.

Sunflowers

Despite other parts of the UK melting in the heat, it's still raining here. Raining heavily. There's been no glimpse of the sun in 3 days and despite the forecast proudly proclaiming a heatwave, there's no sign of it. Well, unless you live in the south east of England...or to be precise, London.
There must be centimetres of flooding by now. Huge puddles, wellies and brollies everywhere.

And in the garden no sign of the sunflowers. Mainly because they are being noshed ceremoniously by mega slugs enjoying the wet weather as they feed.This is the problem with organic gardening.No slug pellets equals some sad looking half eaten plants with the rain to urge them on.

How depressing this weather is. School holidays and grey, wet skies. The weeks forecast looks grim . Looks like we'll all have to find our wellies

The heart of the home

What exactly is the heart of a home? The fireplace, the kitchen or the family that live there? I explored this recently when, for the first time both my children were away on school trips at the same time. Approaching this with feelings of discomfort I quickly realised that I had not prepared myself for the feelings of loss and emptiness as I missed my children for the few days that we spent apart.

Initially, the separation was difficult but gradually things began to improve as I wondered what we had done with our time all those years ago in our child free days. I needed to fill my time doing all those things that I intended to do but not got round to yet. But I did miss them. Loads.

It was an absolute joy to see them return and have the house filled with people, sweet wrappers and arguements about what to watch on TV. I'll never complain again! The house seemed so quiet and empty without them. The family really is the heart of the home.

Summer

The heatwave of the last few weeks is diminishing rapidly. The temperature remains very warm but now the rain seems here to stay. There's a heavy downpour outside, which is great for the garden The plants and flowers bending under heavy ripe flowerheads. The summer solstice has now passed, but the sun remains high in the sky as we hurtle towards Lammas. Even though its shrouded in thick grey rain clouds. Alas its nowhere to be seen albeit for a brief interlude yesterday.

Everything looks lush and green in the garden. Just as it should be. The Land has been fertilised at Beltaine. The seeds planted and the vegetables ripening towards fruition and the inevitable first harvest at Lammas.